BIGFOOT HUNTING PERMIT
Welcome to the official unofficial site for your BIGFOOT Hunting PERMIT headquarters. At Appalachian Sasquatch headquarters, we are very serious about rules of engagement while hunting our beloved hairy, toe-biting, pebble throwing, howling, frustrated tree knocking mammal.
Below are some of the common questions we receive from novice hunters answered by our top researches and scientists located in our cramped, dingy, but free basement location just or near town hall and just left centered from the waste disposal center.
What you need to know about the BigFoot hunting laws and permits
All responsible hunters follow laws and regulations associated with their particular quarry and hunting area. It’s no different when you’re hunting sasquatch.
Can You Hunt Bigfoot Over Bait?
If it’s legal to hunt whitetail deer over piles of corn in your state, then anything goes. For states with stricter baiting laws, be sure to check as there could be serious fines.
Where it’s legal, you can try luring a sasquatch into range with:
- Peanut butter
- Dirty socks
- Shiny items
- Mother-in-law’s undies
- Father-in-law’s jock strap
- Neighbor’s bank account
- Recordings of what is believed to be the species’ favorite band: The Beastie Boys
Can You Use Traps to Hunt Bigfoot?
Trapping a sasquatch by any means is illegal in most U.S. states except:
- Florida – You are allowed to train an alligator to lie in wait for what is regionally called the “skunk ape”
- Montana – When hunting for BIGFOOT, make sure your wife does not get bored and goes fishing alone. It is illegal.
- Arizona – You can use anvil deadfall traps as sold by the Acme Corporation and demonstrated by Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner
- North Carolina – You may use deliverance music to lore the hairy man to you, but you might experience a side effect of missing time gaps and underpants.
Can You Use Blinds or Tree Stands to Hunt Bigfoot?
Yes, you can. In fact, you’ll want to do everything you can to hide from these stinkers, but note that they’ve been known to use ground blinds as outhouses, and they’re excellent tree climbers.
How old do you need to be to get a BigFoot hunting permit?
Bigfoot hunting license age requirements tend to follow age requirements set forth in each state’s standard hunting laws. In general, you need to be just old enough to start thinking your parents lied about Santa but young enough to still believe the lottery is a great way to build your retirement fund
How much is the fine to hunt BIGFOOT out of season?
The good news is if you don’t have a bigfoot hunting permit, or you’re hunting out of season, the state or federal wildlife authorities can’t prosecute you without first proving sasquatch exists. And you know they won’t, because…well, you know, they’ve been hiding evidence of bigfoot since Yogi Bear was just a cub and Spanky was a little rascal.
How to get a BIGFOOT hunting permit on your own?
Standard hunting licenses are one thing, and you’ll be required to get a hunting license in the state in which you expect to find a sasquatch. Getting a bigfoot hunting permit may require a special drawing (as in, no over-the-counter sales as in lottery not as in stick figure drawings… Sasquatch hates those back window family stick figure drawings!!!). Therefore, if you’re trying to get a permit on your own, we recommend beginning the process a full year before sasquatch season begins.
Here is what may be required of you to apply for a sasquatch hunting permit:
- First, you have to believe
- Prove that you have a scope that doesn’t give a blurry sight picture
- Show that you are capable of field dressing and transporting a very large primate. Update as of 1776, you may only take drawings or since 1886 photos of Sasquatch.
- Contact the state’s game officials and request the paperwork for a bigfoot permit
- Fill out the paperwork
- Send in the paperwork, greasing the wheels with a bribe
- We recommend a freshly-baked unicorn pot pie
- Booze or liquid corn works well for southern state officials
- Wait until your bigfoot hunting permit arrives via Claus Express Delivery
- Express service, call 828 837 6011 for your exclusive UV outdoor permanent sticker and further details.